Why can't the English teach children how to spell .... or at least set a good example?

With apologies to Alan Jay Lerner, composer of lyrics for the movie "My fair Lady" (1964)

Is it only me getting highly annoyed and beyond irritated with the blatant lack of regard or vague concern with spelling in general written communication? No, I am not referring to netlingo, acronyms, text shorthand or slang (which is most cases is at least spelled correctly) - I am talking about everyday communication in the written form, whether it be in emails, advertising and yes, even the dreaded social media.

Posted on Facebook by Owen Calverley, Tucats Media

Were you one of the many, many South Africans that cringed back in June with the TV advertisement from the Department of Labour, promoting their online filing of UIF? The advertisement ran for 2 more days before finally being replaced - and I have to wonder, how did it get so far? Did nobody pick up the spelling error from eNCA or SABC (who flighted the advertisement), the advertising agency, the Department of Labour, anybody?? Or if someone did notice it, was there perhaps a decision to let it go and hope nobody noticed?

As South Africans with our 11 indigenous languages and much cross pollination of words and idioms has resulted in a colorful and pretty awesome dialect of sorts."Eish" and "Yebo" are but two widely accepted words used in everyday English that everyone understands. And again, not the point of my tirade, its the deliberate misspelling of words for some unknown reason. Whether to appear cool, or hip or whatever - it just sucks. When one of my favorite columnists falls into that trap, I really do despair. "GAWGIS"??? And in another instance "GORJUSS"!!!! Eish!

English is a hellishly difficult language to get the hang of if its not your mother tongue - and relying on a spellchecker can sometimes cause even greater difficulties. A fellow writer sent me the following paragraph as a perfect example: 

"Yes well when your busy with your family there kneads take priority over other things. It does'nt always suite me that other people that have the same interests try to always make me listen to there really bad stories cause they think i am interested... it just makes me want to go lay down or something. It like really peaves me you no."

Understanding that the use of acronyms and text shorthand is vital to keeping costs down when sending an SMS, I also have another gripe - PLEASE could we decide on a universal meaning for the alphabet soup and stick to it?? I, (and half the world) use LOL as "LAUGH OUT LOUD" while the other half understands it as "LOTS OF LOVE" - which probably explains the reason for some not so happy people - one lady in particular thinking I love her husband lots!!!!!

The other one that could cause some confusion is BFF - in most circles considered to be "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER" until I discovered it could also stand for "BEST FRIENDS FUNERAL" - I can see that also causing some painful misunderstandings.

In my wanderings and browsing on the internet in search of information for this blog, I stumbled upon a rather entertaining website which produced such wonderful new words like "guncle", "unkeyboardinated" and "dilligas"! I happily wasted lots of time on www.urbandictionary.com discovering new slang words I never knew existed just scrolling down WORD OF THE DAY. A word of advice, avoid the FAVORITES tab if you don't like foul language - even if some of them are hysterically funny! 

Sometimes I bump into a word that I don't understand at all - MWAH was one of those. It appeared on a number of social media messages and I wondered if it meant "MURDER WITH A HAMMER" except that it did not seem to fit the text so Google again supplied the answer - it is supposed to reflect the sound of a kiss!! Just as well I did not try and use it - the lady would be after me with a shotgun for sure!

I spent many years in the recruitment industry and I had on a number of occasions discarded an applicant because of poor spelling on their introductory letter or CV. From friends still in the industry I understand that the problem is getting worse instead of better and they too blame social media and texting for this decline. Sadly the everyday usage of bad spelling is in some cases having a very detrimental effect on someone's life and they are blissfully unaware of the repercussions.

So here is a challenge - how about we set a good example and use proper spelling in our written communication? If enough of us take up this challenge, perhaps the message will get through and people will start realising that there is really only one chance to make a good impression - and coming across as hip and cool does not always achieve that result!

Or are you going to respond to this challenge with "DILLIGAS" ...........?? 

Does the noise in my head bother you?

LIFE, LOVE AND MY UNIVERSE has just celebrated its 2nd Birthday and amid all the other stuff going on, I somehow missed this milestone. So Happy Birthday! dear Blog and may you continue to provide an outlet for the view of my world as I see it. I should perhaps also use this opportunity to not only celebrate the 25th edition but also respond to an email asking "Is there a point to your Blog?"

Simply stated, the answer is No! Although a part of me can sympathize with the reader's frustration because there is no coherent thread to bind the Blog together and it appears to be exactly what it is - the written meanderings of the views of my world. And quite frankly, I did not think there needed to be a point. I can waffle on to my hearts content about any topic, taboo or otherwise, and if you happen across the blog and find a frisson of humor, delight, empathy or identify with my sentiments in any way, I am happy for you. If not, delete the URL and get on with your own life.

My world has been bordering on chaos and anarchy for the past few weeks and as per usual, the hits are not being spread over a period of time. No, they seem to be piling one of top of each other with absolute abandon, giving my guardian angel a migraine in the process. Hormones went on a DEFCON 2 rampage against an infection; communication lines were affirmatively shopped and when nearest and dearest opened mouth to change feet, the wheels literally fell off. 

A visit to the doctors resulted in a barrage of literally bumper to bumper tests of bodily fluids, scans, prods and pokes to identify the cause of a mysterious malaise which would case tiredness. Of course, my girth is blamed for everything, so the dread diseases were hunted for with great enthusiasm .... heart attack, diabetes, cancer, stroke, blood disorders, etc. All fair and well for doctors to be so thorough but the chaos that ensues in my head while an imagination goes rampant is anything but fun! After 4 highly stressful days, I am very happy to learn that I failed every single test!

All this contributes to the cacophony of noise going on in my head, but is by no means the least of it. There are debates and thoughts and plans going on in my world (head) that are both profound and inane but demand attention or resolution or action of some kind.......

•  A wonderfully talented human who is a member of one of the organisations I belong to is suffering from Stage 4 Cancer and is one step away from morphine induced oblivion. The thought of no more spectacular pieces of artistic genius being produced is an absolute crime in my world and I wish I could capture all that talent and save it for generations to come.
• The British are having a major debate about whether medically assisted suicide could become legal and I want to hit them over the head with a blunt instrument and scream at them in fury!! What is there to debate, have a person suffer untold agony and prolong their life just because it fits with your preconceived ideas??
• We treat animals with more humanity - a little pinch and they drift off to sleep while their beloved human holds them. Why can we not offer the same dignity and respect to humans?
• Most animal lovers became totally enraged at the sight of someone abusing an animal and quite happily go to war to protect those same animals. Yet at the same time, they will rescue abandoned, old, infirm and hurt animals, nurse them back to health and then emotionally blackmail anyone who will listen to adopt the same old animal because of their "right to life" belief. Although they do provide a great service and I support them whenever I can - the simple truth is that they should not do the job unless they can make the hard decisions.
• Another organisation of which I am a member, requires volunteers to be trained in First Aid and I enthusiastically raise my hand because I am big, and strong and tough and I eat jungle oats for breakfast and its a good thing to do - right?? ummm not so much if you read the fine print: The two main requirements for First Aiders are that you must not get too emotionally involved with your patients and you need to handle blood. Bloody hell - do these people know me???
• I wish I was a cordon bleu chef and could create amazing dishes at a drop of a hat instead of having to scroll through endlessly boring recipes to find something interesting to make for dinner..... again!

If you were to look at me while I was busy cutting tiles for a mosaic, you would not know that there is all this stuff going on in my head at the same time. Trust me, it gets a little hectic and I do apologise if it escapes and gets a little loud!

 It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

Inspired by Fur-Face Kids .....

ZORRO - not happy either

Is it just me or do the past few weeks seem to be nothing more than just one more bad thing happening on top of another? Granted, if you start off with biorhythms (does anyone else believe in those?) being at all all-time low, the chances are that your outlook would be pretty seriously affected and seeing the glass as  half-full would be just about impossible!

So with the middle of the month fast approaching and knowing I have to produce something for the Blog by today, I found to my absolute horror that there was nothing I could write about!! Nothing! Nada! Niks and even more Bugger-All!! So if this is what "writers-block" feels like, it really, really sucks and being under pressure is not helping much either. I even asked a fellow-writer for a suggestion and the best she could come up with was "human rights, evictions, crime, the weather..."! Sheesh!!! somewhere the lines got horribly crossed --- I WANT HAPPY!!!!

And that is when I realised that the problem was not my surroundings, the news, the weather or all the horrid stuff going on around the world - it was me! The 8-year old inside was throwing a mother of a tantrum demanding to be made happy, expecting the world to revolve around her and provide her with lots and lots of of happy!!! 

ZOE - not stressed at all

So with all this teeth gnashing and finger nail biting going on, I happen to look over at the couch in my office and see Zoe, exhausted from the morning walk - looking anything but stressed - and part of me was suddenly very, very envious. For those that are not aware of our household, we share our lives (and bed in some cases) with 7 dogs and 2 cats and I realised that our fur-face kids and their weird and wonderful quirks and foibles provide us with so much more than we are prepared to admit.

There is no word for parents whose kids have scampered across the seas in search of a better life and prospects for themselves and their children. Don't for one minute think I hold it against them in any way as they really had very little choice, but maybe the "old folks" who stay behind fill the space with fur-face kids. It is kinda impossible to feel miserably depressed and wanting to hibernate under your duvet when you have animals to feed. A cold nose stuck in your ear will soon have you leaping out of bed when the choice is either to get up and let them out or do poo-patrol indoors!

Beyond the care and attention they require, they bring something more and when I looked, I found what each little fur-face brings to our world that is special and unique ....

SHERRY - matriarch

Sherry  has been with us the longest and has a pedigree as long as my arm. She might be one of the smallest but is definitely the matriarch and ruler  of the fur-face pack. She is the one that keeps everyone in line and does not miss a thing. Quite a little busy-body and demands attention from every human who visits her - seriously, that is the only reason humans come here, not so? She leads the way in the morning and afternoon walks but does not play with the other dogs - she only plays one-on-one with humans.

RILEY - lover boy

Riley arrived a year after Sherry. He too is a highly pedigreed little fellow who was destined to be a show dog until one of his testes failed to emerge. This did not stop him from siring 5 beautiful puppies before he was permanently fixed! He is by far the most loving and cuddly dog of the pack, which is why he is called the lover-boy. He also used to be the resident in-house trainer and ran around like a hooligan getting the other dogs to try and catch him. Not so much anymore which explains why he resembles a brick and snores very loudly!

PEDRO - the littlest boy

Sherry and Riley's puppies were born on our anniversary (28th August) 3 years ago and after expecting maybe two, imagine our surprise when there were 5! Pedro was the last one and turned out to be the prettiest of them all and very much his father's double and loves to cuddle. Zorro (top left) on the other hand is the absolute opposite; shy and reserved, he does not make friends easily but is by far the most alert of the pack. Both of the boys are perennial snackers - they fetch a mouthful of pellets from the kitchen and sit and eat them in the lounge - never did figure out why.

These four are Ian's darlings and they all sleep on his lap in winter - a little part of them knows he hates winter and they all do their bit to keep him as warm as possible. Getting up out of his chair is sometimes a problem which is where we adopted the terminology that he is "be-dogged" *chuckle*

DOOBI - still a gentleman

Doobi you have met before in a previous Blog : "A Question of Loyalty" and although he is getting very old and grey (he is almost 80 in doggie years), he still comes for walks with us, plays with his ball when its not too cold and soaks up as much sun as he can. He seems to like Zoe although he appears to spend an awful lot of time snapping at her when she gets too boisterous. Yet, when nobody is looking he will deliberately bump into her and run away so that she chases him ......

JESSE - the great protector

Jesse is the big dog on the farm and my bestie. If she has a down side it is that really icy cold nose she sticks in my ear from 5am in the morning when she wants out. Its not only the cold nose, she kinda breathes and huffs at the same time which is more effective that any alarm clock! Sometimes she will just rest her head on your shoulder and sigh deeply with utter content - her version of a doggie hug. She has proved to be a very good snake hunter and has a specific double bark which announces their presence. We all know that when we hear that bark, Ian fetches the shotgun and I lock up the little dogs. Jesse also loves hedgehogs and has brought many of them home to play with - until Ian removes them in his hanky.

JESSE & ZOE 

Although almost 3 years old, Jesse still loves playing and romping and none of the little dogs like playing with her so the decision was made to find her a friend - and that is how Zoe came to join the household. Zoe is pure labrador puppy and everything you have ever ready about them pales into insignificance when you actually live with one. Everything about Zoe is "more" - more chewing, more playful, more boisterous, more goofy, more annoying, more determined, more hungry, more clumsy, more cute and more lovable. With all the confidence in the world she simply leaps on us and we are smothered in doggie kisses and snuffles until she is satisfied that we know she is the baby in the house and she loves us!

So after writing all this I find that I am not half as miserable and depressed as I was when I started out. Having to concentrate to find the words to aptly describe our fur-face kids helped shift the focus away from the 8-year old's grumpiness. I may just have stumbled upon a cure for depression - a new puppy for the 8-year old and Fifty Shades of Grey for the adult - an odd combination that is bound to deliver positive results.

Romping time

And no, I have not forgotten about the cats ..... Tigger and Smuggles are never around when you need them- either to be photographed or to catch the mouse hiding in the bathroom. They will however catch the birds and mice outside and proudly bring them home for us to admire. 
But for now you will need to excuse me, I have spent way too much time behind this computer, the sun is shining outside and even if it is darn cold - there are a whole bunch of fur-face kids wanting to go and play. And somehow I think that is far better than wallowing further  ..... don't you?

Mosaic Association SA (MASA) Featured Artist: April 2014

(Reproduced with kind permission of the Mosaic Association South Africa - MASA)

Cher Manning is a Founder Member of the Mosaic Association South Africa and remains part of the management team of the social network and MASA activities. We asked Cher to share her mosaic philosophy and journey with us:

Mosaic-98 MARMADUKE (2008)  and Mosaic-192 DUBE (2009 

(Marmaduke reproduced with kind permission of Moira MacMurray)

MOSAIC INSPIRATIONS EXHIBITION (2009) : HIGHLY COMMENDED (NOVICE)

What started you in mosaics or drew you to the mosaic art form?
I have always loved working with my hands and tried a number of crafts including Scrapbooking, Fabric Painting, Beading and even Decoupage! It was only when they tried to steal my car in December 2005 and someone asked if they could have all the shattered windscreen glass “to stick down in interesting patterns” that something in my brain clicked.

My local craft shop supplied me with the wrong information, wrong materials and wrong tools with which to make outdoor ashtrays for a jacuzzi being installed. In spite of having to cut 25mm tiles with a pistol grip tile scorer and snapper, it did not stop me from having huge amounts of fun and getting addicted to mosaic!

Mosaic-203 AUTUMN LEAVES (2010) 

Inspired by the photograph "Autumn Cycle" by Robin Rowlands

MASA ONLINE COMPETITION 1- AUTUMN (2010) : HIGHLY COMMENDED

What inspires you and/or keeps you mosaicking?
Not having an art or design background, I used to feel at a disadvantage of not being able to come up with spectacular original art or designs. So, the next best thing was to reproduce a design and put my own interpretation or creativity to work in creating the mosaic.

Inspiration comes from the most unexpected directions and of course being challenged to create a mosaic for a specific purpose or with a specific theme causes hours of research and pondering on a design – which in itself is huge fun!

Mosaic-227 ABIGAILS B&B WATER FEATURE (2010)
MASA ONLINE COMPETITION 2 - INSTALLATIONS (2010) : HONOURABLE MENTION

What is the highlight of your mosaic career to date?
The biggest highlight would have to be the time I spent at Mosaic Arts doing research for the book MOSAICS MADE IN AFRICA- Marina Giovitto Ehlers' tribute to the mosaics created by her mother' Vera Giovitto. Working in such close proximity to Vera and Marina, writing about the history of the family and the company was a particular honour that is difficult to describe.

And of course holding the printed book for the first time gave me the most unmeasurable amount of pleasure, knowing I contributed in a very small way to the production of a book which would serve to inspire mosaic artists for many years.

Spending so much time in the factory I also learned a whole lot by observing the design and implementation process. On occasion I would also accompany Marina on doing an installation so could see how the final product was installed and remain in awe of the standard of work produced.

Mosaic-207 GLASS FUSION MIRROR (2010)
MASA MOSAIC EXHIBITION (2010) : 2nd PLACE MIRRORS OPEN

What are your mosaic aspirations? What do you still want to achieve, learn or attain?
It is still my dream to have an art exhibition based solely on mosaics made by South African artists to be hosted by a reputable and famous art gallery, who will spend huge amounts of money promoting the works because they are that good!

South African Art Galleries as a rule do not take mosaic art seriously or consider it as a serious investment. We (Mosaic Association South Africa) have spent the past 6 years trying very hard to change their minds and are slowly, slowly making a difference. We have been advised to collaborate and come up with a theme and then produce works for a proper exhibition. Who knows? Just maybe 2015 will be the year that we get it right!

Mosaic-255 PEACE CROSS FOR THE RAINBOW NATION (2011) 
MASA MOSAIC EXHIBITION (2011) : HIGHLY COMMENDED OPEN

What are you busy working on now (from a mosaic perspective)? 
I am currently working on two projects – still have not finished the Whitfield Family Crest which was supposed to have been finished in December last year! It is proving to be VERY difficult but will persevere.

The other is a 4-piece contribution for the MASA Online Competition 11: Elements in Motion. Found beautiful patterned glass strips at Hobby-X and bought 4 different colour blends. A really simple project but am pretty sure it will get the concept across!

Waiting in the wings is a commission and a pretty elaborate and detailed mosaic based on Wegeulin's “The Bath” which should keep me busy for a while.

Mosaic-271 / Mosaic-274 / Mosaic-276 MOSAIC WITH HEART (2012) 
MASA IN SUPPORT OF ABUSED WOMEN/CHILDREN PROJECT (2012) – TOP 20

Do you have a favourite technique in your mosaics? If so, what is it and why.
The control freak in me definitely prefers working in the Direct method so that I can see what I am doing although certain projects lend themselves more to Indirect if you want to achieve a perfectly flat surface for eg table tops. I would think my style of applying mosaic and tile layout would be defined as “classic”, although I have been known to get a tad rebellious or adventurous and do something quirky – like adding mosaic inserts or crashing through borders.

I tend to be very pedantic about tiles being placed really close together and since discovering filetti I tend to make use of it a lot for defining lines. If the “line” is very narrow I would leave bigger gaps between the tiles so that grout forms part of the mosaic design.

Mosaic-283 RHINO FOR RAGE LAUNCH (2013) 
Reproduced with kind permission of Mosaic Arts
MASA ONLINE COMPETITION 9- AFRICAN ABSTRACT (2013): 1st INTERMEDIATE

What was your “biggest blaps” or mistake (in a piece, in your mosaic career, etc)?
The first time I flipped an indirect mosaic into a table top frame and the consistency of the tile adhesive was too runny!! Although only 30cm in diameter it was for a Craftwise Project and I was working to a deadline when disaster struck. Some tiles slid underneath their neighbour which caused more tiles to shift out of line and completely destroy an entire section of the table top.

The damage only became evident after “floating” the mosaic and removing the paper backing. This entailed a few hours work of painstakingly digging out the runaway tiles, filling the gaps with more adhesive and replacing the tiles to complete the geometric design. Of course, the more I fiddled with the design, the less inclined it was to dry so what should have taken half an hour ended up taking the best part of four hours to repair!

Mosaic-287 SPIRIT OF RHINO (2013) 
Reproduced with kind permission of Mosaic Arts
MASA IN SUPPORT OF RAGE (RHINO ACTION GROUP EFFORT PROJECT (2013) – TOP 12

What was the most useful tip or trick that you have learnt/been told?
There are a handful of simple tips and/or rules that have made a huge difference in my mosaic ability and which I follow religiously:

• If glue squishes out around a tile, you are using too much (Jacqui)
• If tiles move around when you are not looking, you are using too much glue (Cher)
• Avoid creating 4-way stop streets in tile layout (Marina)
• White grout is only good for kitchen/bathroom tiles (Marina)
• Use as many colours as possible to create shades (Vera)
• Do not go looking for a cut tile that has escaped and dropped on the floor – by the time you find it, you could have cut another one (Karin)
• DO NOT use any kind of wood base for outdoors, irrespective of what you have been told ….. at some stage moisture is going to get in and warp the wood! (Cher)
• Photograph, number and date every mosaic that you complete- that way as years go by you have a record and see your progress (Cher)

Mosaic-293 PHOENIX TAKING FLIGHT (2013) 
MASA MOSAIC EXHIBITION 2013: ROBYN DOUGLAS JONES INSPIRED AWARD (SHARED)

Which is your personal favourite of all the pieces you have done and why? 
Phoenix Taking Flight is by far my personal favourite because it provided the greatest learning curve and the opportunity to experiment with a variety of design, tile layout and shading aspects that I have never tried before.

The end result surprised me and although the source of some controversy, it finally convinced me that even if I battled to produce an original work of art, there is place in this world for good artisans and I am very happy to be considered as such!

Mosaic-295 MEMORABLE DAYS COLLECTION 32 (2014) 
MASA ONLINE COMPETITION 10 – TRIBUTE TO PORTCHIE 2014: 1st ADVANCED

What else do you do (outside of mosaics)? This could be your work/career, other hobbies and/or other passions in your life.
Since retiring from the recruitment industry a few years ago, mosaic has pretty much provided me with an income – firstly in the retail environment where I provided mosaic materials to a chain of craft shops until it stopped being viable as EVERYBODY was selling mosaic accessories and materials.

I then started building websites for mosaic and craft suppliers as well as assisting with the management of their Facebook pages. I manage the MASA network and its related activities, produce a monthly Blog (where I observe the quirks of my Universe) and a Newsletter for my old school. Oh yes – and I still teach mosaic classes too!

For a selection of mosaics available for sale visit:  MOSAIC ART SALES BY MASA

What did not make News Headlines ......

Lets face it - you would have had to have been living under a rock or been stranded on a desert island the past few weeks not to have been bombarded with technobabble about the underwater effects of black box signals or the sounds of Oscar Pistorious having yet another emotional wobbly on the stand.

If I come across as sounding uncaring or unfeeling, that is not the intention, but its getting to the stage now that enough is really enough!  This week I posted a supposedly humorous graphic on my Facebook Page stating : I AM PRESENTLY EXPERIENCING LIFE AT A RATE OF SEVERAL WTF'S PER HOUR! My dear Facebook Friends duly liked the posting with a sense of camaraderie and support, knowing that they too have had the same feelings from time to time. But seriously, enough is really, really enough!!

Don't misunderstand me - if anyone I knew was aboard Flight MH370 I would be raising holy hell too, but now the conspiracy theorists are having a field day and gaining traction!!! Probably like most of the world I am completely baffled about how it is possible to lose a Boeing 777 when they can find one darn cow responsible for spreading mad cow disease! But their theories are not being constructive and all they are doing is sowing more confusion and heartbreak for the families of those on board -  WTF!!! FIND THE DARN PLANE ALREADY!
 
Whether you believe that Oscar Pistorius is a blithering idiot or painfully misunderstood, the fact of the matter is that his life as he knew it is over, done, klaar, finito! Whatever issues he may have had before the tragic incident pales into absolute insignificance after this highly publicized trial where everyone is milking their 15minutes (OK 5+ weeks) of fame for whatever its worth. Gerrie Nel is yet another very good reason why I try to be a law-abiding citizen (even considering paying E-TOLLS - GULP) because I suppose him coming after me would also turn me into a blithering idiot!! I feel sorry for the man - because I cannot see him surviving this either way ..... going to jail ain't gonna improve his life and even found not guilty will never remove the stigma so basically  - he is screwed either way!


America  has had it share of disasters these past few weeks with the mudslide that just about buried a town and  then yet another student goes on the rampage and stabs 22 people in a Philadelphia High School. WTF - two days later we have a similar incident in Pietermaritzburg????


After years of DENY, DENY, DENY, the Pope suddenly pops up and apologizes and asks for forgiveness for all the "evil" perpetrated  by priests who have been sexually abusing kids for years!!! WTF!! nowhere is there any mention of the nuns that beat the hell out of the kids either and is the apology supposed to make everyone feel better???


Ukraine is just too darn big and complicated to even try and figure out what is going on there - but as usual .... THE ROOI GEVAAR is lurking in there somewhere! Having been raised with the threat of communism hanging over our heads, I cannot but feel ever so slightly apprehensive when things start going wrong on such a large scale.

Mother Nature too seems to be getting ever so slightly gatvol with a frightening Ebola outbreak in West Africa and the UN's latest report on Global Warming suggests she too is saying ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!!!

And then of course I don't even want to turn my attention to what else is happening in our country - with the elections looming and everyone suddenly trying to appear as clean and sparkly as driven snow..... I don't even want to go there. Would much rather pull a blanky over my head and go into hibernation mode till its all over because my ears can only handle so much rubbish at a time! I suppose it would be wishful thinking to hope that by the time I emerge that Shrien Dewani has also been to court and the case been finalised? I think I have more chance of falling pregnant - it only took two years to get him back here, so I suppose with his delicate mental state the court case will be going on for the next five years!

In amongst all these major News Headlines that is keeping the world glued to their radios and television screens, it becomes easy to miss the things happening around us - that have a massive impact on the people that it affects and would never make world headlines.

• A woman in Cape Town is raffling off her own very expensive Michel Herbalin watch to raise funds for children with cancer. 
• Moira Mac Murray, a Johannesburg artist created a huge lady out of totally biodegradable material to participate in the Land Art exhibition at Emmarentia Dam
• Gregory Wells-Clifton of Pay it Forward South Africa  performs little miracles on a daily basis with the help of ordinary everyday people
• A lady in Namibia has found her daughter that she gave up for adoption 32 years ago
• Julie is getting better every day after a back operation which had her wearing a corset and having to lie down a lot - which means she could be getting back to mosaicing really soon
• Vanessa who heard this past week that she is really in remission and can start planning her daughter's wedding
• The unknown number of neglected or abandoned animals rescued by the unsung heroes who man the animal shelters

So while the rest of the world goes to hell in a handbasket, switch off the tv and radio and spend the morning having coffee with a friend - much more rewarding and more likely to give you something to smile about. 

WTF!!!! Gonna take the rest of the day off and play with the new puppy!

HS van der Walt - a "Dassie" reminisces

Founded in 1915, HS van der Walt High School in Paarl was not an ordinary school for girls. You could have been fooled, especially on Sunday mornings when rows of girls, dressed all in white and sporting the most horrendously awful little hats, marched off to church. You would have been fooled into thinking that these young ladies were the absolute vision of innocence and decorum. It was only when you took a closer look at the bars on the windows of the hostels, and realised that during school holidays an inordinate amount of girls stayed at the school, that you may have wondered why it appeared a little odd.

Simply, it was an "Industrial" or "Trade" School - managed by the then Department of Education together with the Department of Welfare and was basically a place to keep and hopefully educate female juvenile delinquents. Industrial schools had been established from 1909 onwards to 'rescue' the offspring of the white unemployed from indigence. Whereas the reformatory was created for the rehabilitation of convicted juvenile offenders, the industrial school was intended for the 'protection of destitute children and waifs and strays'. (Linda Chisolm)

Somewhere along the line, the criteria for sending girls to the school got a little blurred. Girls from all walks of life, different backgrounds and religions, rich or poor, drug addicts, prostitutes, car thieves or simply being orphaned; or as in my case, too independent (they said rebellious!?!) for my parents to handle - were committed to HS van der Walt. No, committed is the right word - you could not leave when you wanted to, could not visit home for holidays or change schools unless the Welfare approved it. If the powers that be thought your intelligence adequate, you were sent there as it was the only school in the stable that taught commercial subjects to matric. 

I seemed to have spent an awful lot of time in my youth being very angry with

Entrance to HS van der Walt - Photo: Piet Killian

adults in general. They seemed unable to make rational decisions, were liars, unreliable and totally untrustworthy, so at the age of 14, I ran away from home and declared my independence! For the best part of 3 months I lived with friends, worked as a casual at OK Bazaars and was quite happy with my life. Regretfully my parents and the state did not agree with my assessment and after my photograph was published in the Sunday Times, I was unceremoniously rounded up by the police and after a rather brief court appearance, bundled on a train and sent to HS van der Walt High School.

Having spent much of my school life in boarding school, this one was not all that much different. We attended classes, had weekly assembly, was sent to the principal's office for various infringements, participated in sports activities, etc. In the hostel we shared rooms, listened to the radio, gossiped about everything and anything, were allocated tasks that included polishing floors, cleaning bathrooms, making our beds, doing laundry, helping out in the kitchen, etc. But in all this semblence of normality there was one major difference ..... the lockup! 

Lockup window in red / Our room in yellow

Each hostel had one that consisted of one very small room furnished with a mattress, a bible and a pot (yes - THAT kind of pot!). There were at least 4 sets of various bars on the window and double doors, the inner one made of steel. This room was designed to isolate, humiliate and rehabilitate the occupant until such time that the powers thought sufficient time have been given for the offender to reflect on their behavior. Sentences could range anything from a few hours to a few weeks and I was absolutely terrified of that room. I have never figured out if it was pure claustrophobia that was the basis for the terror - or a part of me that knew I would not emerge sane if I had to spend any time there - but it served to keep my "independent" nature in check.

The hockey field - Photo: Piet Killian

The other major influence on my life at the school was the school psychologist, a tall, dark-haired man called Mr Whiddicombe. I did not appreciate him much at the time but as I grew older I realised what an exceptional human being he actually was. Consider working in an environment of 150 teenage girls who all suffer from major issues, real or imagined and being able to listen to each one of them and find a way to best treat their emotional and spiritual aches and pains? He once told me that I reminded him of a caged tiger with a toothache and the only remedy he had for me to sort myself out was to walk me round the hockey field until I was ready to drop from exhaustion and just too damn tired to keep up with being angry. I do know that he did not have a easy recipe for all the girls and  many of them hated him with a vengeance. For whatever reason, his method worked well enough to keep me out of that darn room so I remain grateful to him. 

There were a few weird and wonderful traditions at "Dassieland' - like our nickname for starters. "Dassies" are African rodents called rock rats who live in rocky environments and like to bask in the sun. Where the name first originated is unclear but if you ever lived in the Western Cape you would know that winter is cold, rainy and misty and that the girls would appreciate any patch of sun to provide a little warmth. 

The school's motto SEMPER STABILIS (Ever Steadfast) was more a pipe-dream than an actual reflection of the volatile, dramatic, aggressive and sometimes downright brutal atmosphere of the school. With such a mixed bag of characters and temperaments, it is a wonder that the school did not explode into riots and major destruction. The staff obviously had a huge role in ensuring that rebellious and aggressive teenagers did not get totally out of hand, but I think it had more to do with the friendships that formed among the girls that kept things under control. Girls who came from broken homes or abusive environments were no longer alone and did not feel that it was a case of them against the world. This at times generated an extraordinary loyalty which in many cases have stood the test of many, many years. There was a support system in place and sometimes empathy and advise often came from the most unexpected sources.

In our matric year, five of the girls (including the head girl at the time) ran away from the school. For the life of me I cannot remember the reasons, but I wanted to go with but could not ..... I could not squeeze through the bars in our room on the first floor! (Yellow block next to the lockup!) That did not stop me from helping them escape by pulling up the sheets they had used to drop to the ground floor and making the beds up neatly with them. Playing absolutely ignorant the next morning when their disappearance was discovered was a little scary but the proof had disappeared.  The hard part was that they never came back to the school and my dearest friend was among them.

Having finished and passed matric, I could not wait to get away from HS van der Walt High School and try with everything I could to forget of its existence. Perhaps because not all of us were determined to make something of ourselves in spite of where we had spent the latter part of our school years, but for the longest time having attended that particular school seemed like a life sentence.  It took the longest time for me to realise that people did not even know of its existence and could not care less where you had been to school - the matric certificate did not have the school's name on it and people are more interested in who you are than who you were.

Besties - 1973

In spite of that it has still taken a whole lot longer to let go of the apprehension of making contact with the girls who used to attend the school. Yes, there were some really unpleasant characters and I think my biggest fear is that they might not have grown up, taken responsibility for their lives and are still the nasty, unpleasant characters they were at school!! 

And if they have in fact done just that, wouldn't I feel like a right, royal, idiot!!

I never gave up on trying to find my dearest friend after I left school and it only took 36 years and the help of our other room mate for us to find each other. And you know what - she has not changed in the least! In spite of having 3 children and a 9th grandchild on the way, she is still my dearest friend.

 

Linda Chisolm : http://www.sahistory.org.za/archive/gender-and-deviance-south-african-industrial-schools-and-reformatories-girls-1911-1934

Blame it on romance novels .....

 She thought that Barbara Cartland was the biggest culprit of all, together with the innumerable romantics who had penned romance novels for Mills & Boon Publishers. They all had the same thing in common, the mysterious gap between: “ … she trembled as he picked her up and gently laid her down between the fragrant autumn leaves” and “later, blissfully sated she curled her fingers through the crispy curls growing on his chest.”

What happened between “leaves” and “later” was a question she never could get answered by adults which was not surprising. Nobody likes explaining the facts of life to an inquisitive adolescent. In any event, good convent girls were not supposed to ask “those” kinds of questions.

She nevertheless devoured those books like a hungry locust; always seeking the one that would tell her what happened during those mysterious moments. Many years later, she would wonder why someone had not left Lady Chatterley’s Lover lying around in a conspicuous place for her to find. Absolutely no mystery there, she would have found all her answers (and then some!) in addition to being more prepared for the night she lots her virginity.

Being a 19 year-old virgin in the mid-seventies was as out of place as Mary Quant trademark makeup on the face of the young Princess Margaret. Having been in school during the tumultuous age of “free love” and “ban the bomb” she almost felt as if she had missed out on one of the most important revolutions of the century. A feeling that has not quite gone away, forty years later.

Escaping the constricting environs of her parental home to the big city was like releasing a child in a toy store. The beat of the city caught at her diaphragm and tugged her heart along with its mysterious rhythm. And it was in the midst of all the hustle and bustle that she met the tall, dark and handsome stranger that would deflower her.

He was the owner of the nightclub where she worked in the evenings to earn extra money. He was Greek and arrogant and passionate as only she had imaged the men from those islands would be. And yes, he had those smouldering dark eyes and full lips so often described in breathless detail by all those romantic novel writers. It is therefore no wonder she literally swooned.

The relationship had all the trademarks of the romantic novel. First there was the blatant antagonism, he arrogant and domineering – she fiercely independent and not willing to bend to his will. She stormed out of the club one night after a particularly heated argument and of course he went after her, the shouting continuing in the parking lot. He accusing her of being unreasonable, she telling him he was insensitive. And then of course, he just had to kiss her just to shut her up and she never quite remembered what the fight was about in the first place.

After having dated the Greek for almost six months, she came to the conclusion that heavy petting left her feeling a little “unfinished” in some way and that it was time to get rid of the darn virginity and find out what all the fuss was about. She set the stage for her deflowering with minute attention to detail, after all, the event had to be perfect.

What she knew of the sexual act had been gleaned from adult cartoons and portions of conversations heard over the years. In her mind’s eye, the penis was this long appendage that was tucked between the man’s legs when not in use. Having observed bulges in various shapes and sizes at the local swimming pool, she often wondered how it all fit together, as the bulges were all concentrated in the front. She had heard that the appendage would become hard if the man became excited, but did not consider the possibility that the it could actually be quite small, especially if immersed in cold water - this would of course, have explained the little knob in the front of swimming trunks. In her virginal mind it had all been rather perplexing and confusing but she would soon find all the answers she would need.

The bed was made with fresh linen, pillows fluffed up invitingly and the covers turned down. Curtains drawn, lights extinguished and candles lit, fresh flowers adorned the room, and a few rose petals found their way onto the bed. Her normal sleeping attire of cotton nightgown was tossed out and replaced with a pale pink silky negligee. He was instructed to get undressed and make himself comfortable while she scurried into the bathroom to prepare: shower, brush teeth, floss and spray mouth freshener, brush hair vigorously while bending over - flicking it back to ensure plenty of volume, strategically dab perfume between boobs and nether regions and she was ready.

She paused in the bathroom doorway, aware of the light behind her and hoped she made an interesting picture. She lifted her one arm to lean against the door and missed, toppling sideways to hit her shoulder against the doorjamb. Flustered and shaking badly, she prayed that he had not noticed and switched off the bathroom light. She walked towards the bed and misjudged the distance and kicked the corner of the bed. She painfully limped to the edge of the bed and sat down, only to promptly slide off, landing on the floor with a thump.

Whatever dignity she thought she might have had evaporated and she stayed where she was on the floor, tears of mortification rolling down her face.

Unfortunately the story does not fade into a into a night of blissful passion, unbridled ecstasy and memories that would make her blush for all the right reasons. Yes, he was sweet and picked her up off the floor and cuddled her until she felt better. He murmured all the right words and almost convinced her that it was not the end of the world.

He was however, no help in warning or guiding her through the practicalities. Having guided her hand to his nether regions she wondered what on earth she was supposed to do with the baggy thing filled with solid little nuggets!  There was absolutely no warning that what was a flaccid little thing would grow really long and hard to such an extent that she was horrified at the thought of its eventual destination.

 

Beyond this point, things only got a whole lot worse so there is no need to go into boring detail. Needless to say, she eventually got the hang of it and figured out what went where and want to do and not to do. And found that the romance novels were very wise in leaving out the bit between "leaves" and "later"!!